Dirty Thirty

I always post on here for everyone else's birthdays. This year, I thought I'd post one for me.
I'm 30.

Do you remember when that was old? Maybe it still is. The truth is, I still feel the same that I did when I was 17. My life is different, with different and hopefully more evolved hopes, fears, dreams... but I'm still me.

I guess I always thought that when I was 30, I'd be magically transformed into a woman with a perm, a pantsuit, and pumps who doesn't think poop is funny.

No pantsuit, no perm, no pumps, and poop is definitely still funny.

I don't even realize I'm getting older until I'm slapped in the face with reality. I went to the doctor several months ago for a spot on my face. Being fair-skinned and having a love/hate relationship with the sun, I try to keep an eye on things so I went to the dermatologist. She took one look at it and said, "It's not cancer. You're just getting older. It's an age thing." What?!?! When I go to the doctor to get something checked out, the reason is usually, "Well, you've had 3 kids." I knew this particular problem wasn't the result of any postnatal mishap but it's never been age.

It's not that I mind getting older. It's better than the alternative. I won't even mind going gray or getting wrinkles. I've always admired the silver hair of a well-aged woman. I used to wish I had the laugh lines I saw in the faces of my relatives. I thought crow's feet were cool- like a badge of honor.

I don't want to be in high school again. Age seems to dull the drama of the teenage life, and that was very welcome. At 30, I have more confidence (or lack of concern for acceptance), I'm more organized (I know- it was worse), and I really do know more. I like where I am and I'm glad for every minute that has carried me here.

What would my teenage self say about me now?

I always wanted to be an art teacher, and here I am.

I never thought I'd have kids and now I'm crawling with them.If I'd known my kids and how cool they'd be, I would have planned on them years ago. I'd be surprised but excited.

I never thought I'd marry John, but, again, back then, I didn't know the John I married. He's perfect for me.
Do people really make lists like on the movies of things they "have" to accomplish by the time they're 30, or 40, or whenever? I've always been a come-what-may kind of person but if I had made a list then it would have been drastically different. I just would have re-written it a million times along the way so that I would end up exactly where I am today. Yup, I'm 30. I've lost the ability to pull an all-nighter and I have looked at a group of teenagers and uttered the phrase "Kids these days...." I sign report cards, and file claims with my homeowners insurance. I think some music on the radio us just noise, and most teenage boys need haircuts. I may wear sunscreen every day and pass up clothes at the store that I like because it looks "too young" but mark my words: I will never own a pantsuit, pumps, or get a perm- even when I earn my grey hair and crow's feet.

Kawika's 4!

Blogging has been way down on my list of things to do lately. Honestly, we've been so cought up in living life lately that I haven't had time to write about it. Whatever the reason, I can't let Kawika's birthday post pass me by.

Yeah, Kawika turned 4 in May. I'm happy to report that this little boy is still the kindest, softest, squishiest, most cuddly kid I've ever met. Here's a breakdown of a few of my favorite things about this boy at this point:

*The kid seriously has the softest skin I've ever touched. Always has.*Of all the kids, he's always the first in line for hugs and kisses.*His ears are squishy and movable. They flop when he runs, and even flap in strong wind. When he gets tired, he plays with them and folds them into his head and pops them out.*He tells me when I make his heart happy. (unfortunately for my heart, he also tells me when I make his heart sad)*He really loves his mommy. That's my favorite.
*His idea of the ideal meal always starts and sometimes ends with peanut butter and jelly.*He maintains his own in this house of strong-willed sisters. ...and loves them very much.*He's my artist. The girls like to make art, but Kawika goes about it differently and looks at things in a way that amazes me.Whatever life has in store for Kawika, my biggest hope for him is that he stays just the way he has been for the past 4 years. Happy birthday sweet boy.