Dirty Thirty

I always post on here for everyone else's birthdays. This year, I thought I'd post one for me.
I'm 30.

Do you remember when that was old? Maybe it still is. The truth is, I still feel the same that I did when I was 17. My life is different, with different and hopefully more evolved hopes, fears, dreams... but I'm still me.

I guess I always thought that when I was 30, I'd be magically transformed into a woman with a perm, a pantsuit, and pumps who doesn't think poop is funny.

No pantsuit, no perm, no pumps, and poop is definitely still funny.

I don't even realize I'm getting older until I'm slapped in the face with reality. I went to the doctor several months ago for a spot on my face. Being fair-skinned and having a love/hate relationship with the sun, I try to keep an eye on things so I went to the dermatologist. She took one look at it and said, "It's not cancer. You're just getting older. It's an age thing." What?!?! When I go to the doctor to get something checked out, the reason is usually, "Well, you've had 3 kids." I knew this particular problem wasn't the result of any postnatal mishap but it's never been age.

It's not that I mind getting older. It's better than the alternative. I won't even mind going gray or getting wrinkles. I've always admired the silver hair of a well-aged woman. I used to wish I had the laugh lines I saw in the faces of my relatives. I thought crow's feet were cool- like a badge of honor.

I don't want to be in high school again. Age seems to dull the drama of the teenage life, and that was very welcome. At 30, I have more confidence (or lack of concern for acceptance), I'm more organized (I know- it was worse), and I really do know more. I like where I am and I'm glad for every minute that has carried me here.

What would my teenage self say about me now?

I always wanted to be an art teacher, and here I am.

I never thought I'd have kids and now I'm crawling with them.If I'd known my kids and how cool they'd be, I would have planned on them years ago. I'd be surprised but excited.

I never thought I'd marry John, but, again, back then, I didn't know the John I married. He's perfect for me.
Do people really make lists like on the movies of things they "have" to accomplish by the time they're 30, or 40, or whenever? I've always been a come-what-may kind of person but if I had made a list then it would have been drastically different. I just would have re-written it a million times along the way so that I would end up exactly where I am today. Yup, I'm 30. I've lost the ability to pull an all-nighter and I have looked at a group of teenagers and uttered the phrase "Kids these days...." I sign report cards, and file claims with my homeowners insurance. I think some music on the radio us just noise, and most teenage boys need haircuts. I may wear sunscreen every day and pass up clothes at the store that I like because it looks "too young" but mark my words: I will never own a pantsuit, pumps, or get a perm- even when I earn my grey hair and crow's feet.