I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem.....
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room.'
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it..
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
I wonder if cops ever get annoyed at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat kid before dinner.
3 comments:
that is funny! hey i was wondering if ya'll might be able to come to Brock's bday party on the 3rd of October. it's a saturday....if I can get enough kiddos i'm thinking about renting a bounce house.....i know a little overboard but I just need to keep giving Joe's mom reasons to talk about me :)
Hilarious! I'm glad I read this one at home because I would have snorted while the kids were testing trying to read a few of those. And then they look at me like I"m crazy.
I love it! I've also had many of those thoughts myself. I totally hate to be given the remote when I'm with a bunch of people - it is way too much pressure. And I do know exactly where the snooze button is. I might not be able to find anything while I'm awake, but I can find that button in my sleep.
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